Beachfront Family Reunion
When I told Samantha I was going to a family reunion on a North Caroline beach this last week she paused and said, “um, is that good or bad?” Sometimes I have to remember that for many people, extended family gatherings are the only times they have to interact with people from a wide array of lifestyles and socioeconomic statuses. Since these crews have to see each other continuously throughout their lives, longstanding resentments, feuds and political fights build over time to churn and writhe beneath the surface. Judgements are passed with the cole slaw and handed down with used jeans.
While I certainly did have to contend with my cousin goading me with his “W” sweatshirt, he was wearing it primarily for effect and it didn’t keep us from spending all day in the water surfing. Ironically the three christian ministers in the family are all strong, liberal women. They have an enthusiasm for life and genuine love of people that is common among this flock. It’s a big part of what sets the tone that allows our seventy people to willingly gather together and fill eight beach houses every year.

One of the nice things about this visit was that, having declared myself a filmmaker/artist, I wasn’t once asked to repair anyone’s computer or fix anyone’s “email”. Better yet, I was stunned to discover that there were people reading this blog! Even some who were willing to pretend that they enjoyed it! It certainly has cemented my reputation as the token crazy world-wandering relative and it’s a brightly colored coat I’m happy to wear. I was always quick to point out the trade offs and I think that while some exhibited envy for my bohemian lifestyle, none would willingly trade their families for it and would rather enjoy the exploits of a wandering soul from afar. Now if only I can convince about fifty thousand more people to think this way and cough up a dollar a year for the privilege…
I spent some more close quarters kid time, even going so far as to sleep in the bachelor pad with my two and five year old nephews. Periodically they would wake up screaming because a stuffed toy had gone missing or another equally horrific tragedy had been imagined. By the time I fell out of bed and fumbled around in the dark trying to help they would be quietly snoring, and yet I never seemed to learn and the urgency always seemed just as real. It certainly put my own complaints about life in the right light. Unless I’m being tortured, my whining is entirely self indulgent child’s play. And yes, water boarding and taking care of two year olds is torture.

Of course it wasn’t all drama with the small humans. I had a lot of fun writing songs and playing some of the children’s tunes I’d sent them on a rough sketch of an album. I hadn’t really believed that they listened too it as much as I’d been told, but they did in fact seem to know all of the words to Robot Squirrels, Mister Rat and Sleepy Stick. There was a lot of playing pirates, which I do at home with my friends anyway, and some good times being smashed by waves.
While the family beach vacation and Burning Man will forever fight for the same space on my calendar, thus forcing me to choose between what I feel are my two biggest family reunions, I’m certainly hoping I can at least alternate between the two. The sand, screaming, and pirates are about the same, and there’s plenty of love at both.
Tomorrow: the toe explained! Yes yes, I’ll talk about the toe.
the comparison between waterboarding and taking care of two year olds is a bit extreme, but then again so is dilation from 1 cm to 10 cm, pushing something the circumference of a watermelon out of an opening the circumference of a lemon and then raising, feeding, clothing, bathing something that literally *escaped* from you… for the next 18 years. anyway, glad you had fun on your family trip. …pass the sleepy stick, it’s your turn.
From one of the reunionites:
I wasn’t pretending. I do read your blog and do enjoy it. I won’t say that you aren’t a bit, uh, different, from most people I know, but I enjoy that as well. Interesting, isn’t it, the vast differences in social and political leanings all in one family? I heard about your songs second hand and think you ought to consider becoming the next Raffi. You actually have to be around kids a lot to do that though. On second thought….
I am wondering why your Google Ads are about hair extensions. Please don’t tell me your queue or braid or whatever is fake.
Uh, BTW your nephews are 2 and 5!
Ha! Oops! One was simply a typo, but the other was another profound and moving public display of my awe-inspiring ignorance. (Now fixed.)