Wrapping Up the Game
Lately I’ve had this strange sensation that I’ve reached the end of a long game. The last die was rolled, question answered, or strategy played out and with a cheer or a groan everyone’s hands went up and they stepped back from the table a few months ago. Now we’re all relaxed and talking openly about the strategies we used on each other and filling in the blanks where things were previously unsaid.
I’m not sure what’s lead me to this point, or why I feel that everyone is with me. I know that I feel much more at peace with myself. I’ve finally reached a point where I’ve accepted my skills and talents. I’ve given up some of my bigger ambitions, which has freed me to focus more on what excites me and less on sacrifices that might lead to future gains. I’m less concerned about how my actions affect other people, and I am not obligated to let anyone know where I am or what I’m doing at any point. I feel like a more genuine expression of myself, less driven by my innate desire to meet the desires and expectations of the people around me. It all feels very sexy.
I’m not sure why I feel like every one else is here with me. Some of my older friends are starting to reach the point where the ups and downs of life affect them less and they’ve even begun preemptively laughing at the absurdly awkward or terrible times as they happen. My younger friends are learning some of the same tricks, or perhaps I’ve chosen younger friends that have already been moving in that direction.
I can say that after telling this story a few times I’ve had at least one person tell me that they have no idea what I’m talking about and they don’t feel the same way at all. So again, maybe this is just me and I’m projecting this little worldview on everyone around me. But I think everyone should accept my projection and get in on it. It feels great! So go tell someone something you’ve never told them about an old conflict between the two of you, a secret love you had for them, or a crazy view you had of them before you knew them better.
Right now. Go.
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